Why God Still Works in Dysfunctional Families (and What That Means for You This Christmas)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

— Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

You can almost hear the tension in the Christmas story if you listen for it.

An angel shows up, and the first thing he has to say is, “Do not be afraid, Mary.” A righteous man finds out his fiancée is pregnant and isn’t sure he can go through with the wedding. They have to travel a long way at the worst possible time. The family line the Messiah was born into reads less like a royal pedigree and more like a list of messy scandals—cheaters, liars, outsiders, and survivors.

Jesus didn't enter a picture-perfect, silent-night scene. He entered a family tree and a set of circumstances full of stress, uncertainty, and potential for shame. He arrived right in the middle of the mess.

God didn’t wait for things to be perfect to send His Son. He sent His Son because things weren't perfect. The dysfunction wasn't a barrier to His plan; it was the very canvas He chose for His redemption.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

Does your family gathering feel like walking through a minefield of old arguments, awkward questions, or unspoken hurts? Maybe the “silent night” you long for feels impossible. The hope of Christmas isn’t that God shows up when we finally get our act together. The hope is that He shows up precisely when we don’t. He is not repelled by your family's dysfunction. He is an expert at working right through it. Your messy family Christmas isn’t a surprise to Him. It’s a place where His grace is invited to do what it does best: enter in and redeem.

PRAYER:

God, thank You that You are not afraid of mess. You entered ours to save us. As I walk into family spaces that feel complicated and hard, help me to see Your presence there. Give me Your peace as my guard, Your grace as my words, and the quiet assurance that You are still at work in the middle of it all. Amen.