How to Stay Grounded When Family Dynamics Trigger Old Wounds

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

— Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

Jenna thought she was past it. She had a great job, her own place, a life she’d built. But walking into her parents’ house for Christmas Eve, the smell of pine cleaner and sugar cookies hit her, and she was twelve again.

It was her brother’s joke that did it. The same one he’d made for twenty years about her being “the sensitive one.” Everyone else laughed. She felt her face get hot, her throat close up. The old script played in her head: Just be quiet. Don’t ruin the mood. Smile.

But this time, something shifted. Instead of swallowing the hurt, she felt a clear, quiet thought: You don’t have to play this part anymore.

She excused herself to “check on the rolls,” stood in the kitchen for a minute with her hands on the cool countertop, and took three slow breaths. She wasn’t a kid stuck at this table. She was a grown woman who could choose her response. When she walked back in, she didn’t fake a laugh. She just changed the subject to her brother’s new dog, and the moment passed.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

Ever have a moment like that? Where a look, a tone, or an old joke sends you right back to a place you thought you’d left? It happens. Old family patterns run deep.

Here’s the thing: you get to decide what happens next. You don’t have to react from that old, hurt place. You can notice the feeling—Okay, that stung—and then come back to the present. You can put your feet flat on the floor. You can take a breath. You can remember who you are now: a woman loved by God, with her own life, her own voice, and the ability to step out of an old cycle.

Staying grounded isn’t about pretending it doesn’t hurt. It’s about choosing where you stand while it hurts. It’s letting God hold that old wound while you stand firm in who He says you are today.

PRAYER:

God, when old triggers pull at me, help me find my footing in You. Remind me I’m not who I was. Help me to breathe, to feel the ground under my feet, and to choose my response instead of falling into the old reaction. Be my anchor in the storm of old memories. Amen.