How to Set Boundaries with Grace During Holiday Gatherings

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

— Colossians 4:6 (NIV)

Annie dreaded the question. It came every year, right between the mashed potatoes and the pie. Her aunt would lean in, voice dripping with pity, and ask, “So… are you seeing anyone special yet?”

In years past, Annie would shrink. She’d mumble “no” and immediately ask about her cousin’s new job, deflecting the spotlight while her heart stung. She’d leave gatherings feeling exhausted and small, having performed a one-woman play to make everyone else comfortable.

But this year felt different. On the drive over, she prayed for a new kind of strength, to stand firm with kindness. When the question came, Annie took a breath. She met her aunt’s gaze and smiled. “You know, I’m really enjoying my life as it is right now. God’s got good things for me. How’s your book club going?” Her tone was warm, her words were final, and she gently turned the conversation toward common ground.

She didn’t build a wall. She opened a different door.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

Do you feel yourself bracing for certain comments or questions at family events? You are not required to offer your personal life as conversational fodder. A boundary isn’t a rejection; it’s a way of honoring your peace so you can actually show up with love. Grace doesn’t mean you have to answer every question. It means you can answer with truth and kindness, then guide the talk somewhere safer. What’s one gentle, graceful phrase you can have ready to protect your heart this season?

PRAYER:

God, give me wisdom and the right words. Help me to protect my peace without building walls. Let my responses be full of Your grace, turning hard moments toward common ground. Teach me to honor my own heart so I can truly love the people around the table. Amen.